Everybody Loves Raymond...Not Debra

Since my last few blogs have been about how women have been constantly stereotyped, I thought I'd try to do a blog about men! It's rare- but men are indeed stereotyped in Hollywood. An interesting and different perspective can be read in Jake Brennan's (Askmen.com writer) article "Has Male Bashing Gone Too Far?". He has a theory that there is a current market for "guy" characters (the stupid, lazy, unromantic version of the actual male) in Hollywood. He mentions the character Raymond in Everybody Loves Raymond as one of the perfect "guy" examples. Brennan's article is quite convincing because he surfaces that women are hypocritical beause we love this "guy" stereotype and yet we hate it when women are stereotyped. Although, I am sympathetic for Brennan and other men (not "guys"), I feel that the character Debra in Everybody Loves Raymond is an even worse stereotype for women. This is because she's a bitch. But I'll start with Raymond first...

Raymond is the stupid, dorky, lazy husband who happens to be wedded to the beautiful know-it-all wife Debra. Raymond is constantly getting himself into trouble: when he eats his mother's cooking after he eats Debra's or when he mistakenly tapes over his wedding ceremony with a football game. He means well- he's just stupid and lost without his wife. But it's all Raymond's fault at the end of the day. The audience knows this and also knows that Raymond is not malicious. So of COURSE we love Raymond. But do we like naive Raymond or the know-it-all Debra more?

I personally like Raymond more. Even though he stereotypes the average man to be selfish, lazy, and dumb, he is more likable. Hence the title Everybody LOVES Raymond. What would the title be if it was the exact same show- but focused on Debra? It would be Everyone HATES Debra. I naturally don't like Debra because she's controlling, emotional, overly-critical, and just plain bitchy. Even though she is smarter than Raymond (a plus for women) she is hard to like because she is constantly yelling. Even though I have been in similar situations as her and sympathize, I do not feel like her bi-polar tendencies are ever justified. And as an audience, we get the impression that she is just plain crazy because she is yelling one minute and then crying in the next. And as I woman, I have never needed "a good cry" for no reason (this is the subject for an entire episode). Trust me men, we are not all like that!

I know my purpose was to write about how men are stereotyped and this just turned into another "woman post". I'll find a better example ASAP.

The Real "Housewives"

The never-ending Housewives series on Bravo: staged/instigated drama, bling, and the... wifely duties? It's interesting that the word "Housewives" is apart of the title- because I think viewers see more designer clothing than housewife interaction between husbands and children. Simply put, this show's purpose is to make viewers angry and jealous over the shallow drama that seems to be the symptom of all housewives in the United States. And the title should really include the word wealthy in it- because every housewife is at least a millionaire. Unfortunately, the term "housewife" had negative stereotypes long before this show. And this show EXPLODES these stereotypes.

In the first season of The Real Housewives of New York City, Jill's shining "housewife" moment is when she storms out of designer Luca Luca's runway show because she was not given front row seats. From the same season, "housewife" Countess Luann chooses having a night life over spending her evenings with her children- despite the pleas of her 10-year old son. In the current season of The Real Housewives of Orange County, "housewife" Gretchen (who is technically not even a wife yet- she's only engaged) is remembered as the woman who enjoys vacationing, shopping, and flirting while her loaded fiancé dies in the hospital. Bravo is obviously only concerend with entertaining their audiences. Reinforcing and even strengthening the housewife stereotype seems to be far from their conscience. Associated Contenet writer JM Kellam makes an interesting point in his article "The Women of the Real Housewives of New York City": "The women on The Real Housewives of New York City all have their own jobs and, as far as I can tell, their own maids. So why would they allow Bravo to title them 'housewives?'" This seems to be present in every season and in every different city. Again, Bravo is desperate to find a group of dramatic, rich women.

Even though I am sure many viewers have noticed that Bravo has stretched the term housewife to include these women, this show is still imprinting into viewer's minds that this is how ALL housewives behave. I also believe that expanding the show to cover three different locations has only worsened the reputation for the normal housewife. This influences viewers to believe that if women from three different locations in the United States act exactly the same- then this must be the personality of all housewives.

I was not aware of the damage Bravo has done to my generation until I was having a conversation with one of my friends. We were talking about whether we would ever consider being (or having) a housewife. My male friend said the following: "I wouldn't mind, but she would have to be useful. I wouldn't want her to sit around eating bon-bons all day and watching soap operas." When I questioned him why he felt that all women would automatically be lazy instead of productive, he said: "Well that's all I see on TV. If she actually cleaned, cooked, and took care of children- then I would be fine with that."

Even before this show aired, I remember encountering similar situations growing up. My teachers and coaches would always ask me why my mother couldn't constantly volunteer. When I would say she was busy, they would say almost the exact same thing as my friend- "Busy watching Soap Operas?" Little did they know that she was busy taking care of my severly disabled brother. My mother recently told me that she understands why a lot of women choose to work instead of taking care of their children. She said its because working is a LOT easier than taking care of your children all day.

I really hope this series doesn't last much longer because its just ruining the already ruined reputation of the "housewife."